Navigating Changes

Anyone else feeling like this has been the best and worst and longest and shortest winter even though it wasn’t cold but then it was and there really wasn’t snow but then there was and then spring happened but now it’s winter again?

Just me?

Ooof. HOLY CHANGES.

If you’re feeling at all like you’re really going through the thick of it the past few months, you’re not alone.

I’ve talked to SO many people who have felt that the last couple of months have just been a struggle. Between balancing changes that have happened, navigating relationships, career changes, moves, uhm the war that is going on and the sudden disappearance of illness from the media? It’s been a lot to navigate and if you’ve fallen off the wagon or established a new routine or completely re-directed your life, it’s okay.

Here are three common issues I’ve heard people struggling with most recently and my insights on them:

Career Changes

Now maybe this one is just primarily me speaking from my heart because not as many people I know have been going through this, but I know a lot of people who soon will be or are genuinely debating changing careers. And this is what I have to say about it.

Changing jobs/careers is HARD. It’s so hard. You’re yanking yourself out of your daily routine and comfort zone and choosing to begin something new, which is exciting and scary and comes with all kinds of emotions.

Here’s my advice:

1. Give yourself time

You need time to adjust to the changes. You’re meeting new people, learning new concepts, learning new roles, establishing a new routine, and trying to balance a new work/life balance within a new social setting. As much as it sucks to admit, you’re also figuring out and settling in to where you land on the corporate totem pole, and that in itself is exhausting.

2. Make Mistakes

Don’t go out of your way to intentionally do something that is incorrect. But don’t hold yourself back because you’re afraid of making a mistake. You’re new, and your work ethic in the beginning is much more impactful than your perfection in performance.

3. Be Direct When Asking Questions

What is expected of you? How do you need to prioritize tasks? Who do you report to? Do NOT be afraid to ask very specific questions and if you feel like you’re not receiving enough training or guidance, ask for it. As much as it is your job to learn your new role, it is the job of the organization to provide sufficient training to set you up for success in your new role.

4. Establish Clear Boundaries

As a fellow people-pleaser, it’s common to want everyone in your new setting to like you. However, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been burned by that. Protect yourself and your personal information until you’re absolutely positive on who you can trust. Work friendships are amazing, and great coworkers can absolutely make a job for you. But sometimes mixing business and pleasure can get messy.

Falling off the Workout Wagon

So you’ve gotten into the groove, you’re hitting the gym a few times a week, you’re hitting your water and nutrition goals… and then, suddenly, crap hits the fan and you’ve fallen off.

IT IS OKAY.

You’ll get back on when you’re ready.

I like to look at your energy as a battery. Let’s use our phone batteries, for example.

We all know that watching videos and reels and using Snapchat takes a lot more battery than sending a text or an email does. So, if we are scrolling through Reels and TikTok for 3 hours, congratulations. Your battery went from 100% to 33% really quickly. Or you’ve practiced self-restraint (unlike me) and you’ve only sent 5 texts and 13 emails from your phone today. It’s 3pm and your battery is still at 87%. Good thing you can plug it in to recharge. But sometimes the cable for charging wears out and get’s loose, so you’ve got to figure out a new recharging situation.

Well, your energy is much the same. Some activities or tasks in our lives require more energy than others. If you’re doing one thing every day that takes 60% of your energy, and then try to complete 20 tasks that take 10%, you’re suddenly in a deficit. And need to recharge. Which can be social time, watching Netflix, reading—that’s all up to preference. But sometimes, much like that darn cable, the recharge device isn’t working as efficiently, and you’ve got to find something else. And the beauty of it is that it is completely okay and normal to find new ways to adapt. It’s okay if it is 5pm, your battery is at 1% and you didn’t get to the gym and had an extra helping of mashed potatoes at lunch. It is OKAY, I promise. You’ll get back to it when you’re able. We can’t all be energizer bunnies all of the time, unfortunately.

Dealing with Unhealed Trauma

We’ve all got trauma, we’ve all got things from our past that we think we’ve dealt with until suddenly, one day, it hits you like a ton of bricks that you have not, actually, worked through these specific triggers. It’s okay.

1. Give Yourself Grace

Be kind to yourself as you heal and work through these things. Keep in mind that the situation you are in is not an identical situation to that which harmed you, and give yourself the chance to create healthy habits in the new environment. Or, if you do find yourself in a similar situation, try your best to remove yourself as soon as you’ve made the realization.

2. Take Care of Your Inner Child

Speak kindly to her. To the part of you that is still hurting. Take her by the hand and take her on adventures, tell her nice things, tell her that she is good enough. Take her out for pizza or ice cream or go play with her at the park. Give her the guidance and comfort that she needed, and give her time to grow and work on becoming a woman that she would have loved spending time with.

3. Talk it Through, Don’t Stuff

Stop stuffing your freaking feelings. STOP. Seriously.

We are all living a human experience and we have human emotions. You need to be able to find someone who can help you process through feelings and thoughts and unhealthy thought patterns. It’s easy to find yourself in a mental spiral and is helpful and sometimes necessary for someone to help you sort through them.

4. Stop Being a Pansy, Get a Counselor

Respectfully. Get a counselor. I don’t care whether you think you have trauma or not. I think counselors are for everyone. At the very least, you can even just talk about your day with them and complain about all the people who have pissed you off.

Life is such a journey and we can’t always be 100%, 100% of the time. Lean when you need to, withdraw when/if you need to, and remember:

You can’t show up for other people if you’re not showing up for yourself, first.